"No amount of self-improvement can compensate for a lack of self-acceptance." This statement was penned by Robert Holden in his book titled Be Happy: Release the Power of Happiness in You. The book encourages individuals to find genuine happiness and be content with who they are. This message is particularly crucial in today's society, where body shaming is prevalent.

Body shaming is typically defined as the act of humiliating someone based on their body shape or size. However, recent social phenomena and research suggest that body shaming extends beyond physical attributes to encompass the “message” conveyed by a person's appearance. For example, it can involve judgments related to masculinity and femininity (i.e., wide hips, prominent breasts, or lack of facial hair), as well as discrimination against people with red hair and stereotypes of people with blonde hair (Namaste; Dettmar).

To limit the scope of discussion, this essay will focus on exploring body shaming concerning one's hairstyle and hair color in order to dissect the quote. The essay will commence by delving into the origins of such stigma and how they were constructed by the power structures and patriarchal systems in our society. Subsequently, it will explore the relationship between self-improvement and body shaming, emphasizing how the feeling of shame can significantly impact an individual's mental and physical well-being. Finally, the essay will elucidate how self-acceptance becomes crucial in breaking free from the constraints imposed by society. In conclusion, the essay argues that self-improvement alone cannot compensate for a lack of self-acceptance.

To begin, it is important to recognize that historical factors have played a significant role in shaping society's judgments of ideal beauty standards. This is evident when considering the discrimination faced by redheads throughout Western history. For over 4000 years, redheads were unfairly associated with vampires, demons, and witches. During the European witch hunts in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, some women were put to death simply because of their red hair, which was erroneously believed to be the devil’s mark (Stollznow). This discrimination against red hair probably originated from the conflict between Romans and Germanic people, where red hair was highly valued as a symbol of power by the Germanic population. However, as the Romans, with their predominantly black hair, prevailed, they began to vilify red hair as part of a smear campaign, perpetuating these stereotypes for generations (Harvey). Even today, individuals with red hair have faced discrimination, as evidenced by Cryos International, the world's largest sperm bank, barring red-haired men from donating sperm due to low demand (Bleakley).

In contrast, blonde hair has often been considered attractive in various European cultures, particularly when paired with blue eyes. Women with blonde hair have been stereotyped as more attractive but less intelligent, leading to sub-stereotypes like "Bombshell," a precursor to the term "sex symbol" used to describe highly attractive women (Bombshell). These historical examples illustrate how societal biases have been ingrained over time, causing individuals to be judged based on arbitrary characteristics. In other words, one could be discriminated against simply because they don’t fit into what is defined arbitrarily as good within the social norm.

Furthermore, the same issue extends to Asian countries like China. An incident in July 2022 involving a girl named Linghua Zheng highlighted the severity of the problem. She proudly shared her acceptance letter to graduate school with her bedridden grandfather on social media. However, cyberbullies on platforms such as Douyin, Weibo, and Xiaohongshu targeted her because of her dyed pink hair. People labeled her as a slut, and a nightclub girl, and they even fabricated rumors. She tried to fight back through the power of law. Unfortunately, the online violence ultimately led to her experiencing depression and, tragically, her passing away on January 23, 2023 (Yahoo). This example underscores how feelings of shame can have devastating consequences on one's well-being. Shame, defined as a feeling of being unworthy or inadequate, often stems from early parental criticism, rejection, and abuse (Bailey, K. Alysse, et al.). It can be a powerful motivator for individuals to conform to social norms, as deviation from these norms often results in criticism and punishment.

To clarify, the societal judgments that define what is considered beautiful or not are constructed by society itself. According to German philosopher Immanuel Kant, the standard of beauty was never universal. In fact, the connotation of beauty refers to a common essential attribute of objective things that can evoke people's aesthetic feelings, but beauty itself is a subjective feeling (Kant, ). However, society often promotes an objective beauty standard that serves economic interests. The latest global survey from ISAPS reports a significant rise in aesthetic surgery worldwide, showing a 19.3% overall increase in procedures performed by plastic surgeons in 2021 with more than 12.8 million surgical, and 17.5 million non-surgical, procedures performed worldwide (Global survey 2021). From 2015 to 2023, the revenue of the cosmetic market worldwide has risen from 77.85 billion U.S. dollars to 103.82 billion U.S. dollars (Statista). The media and advertising play a crucial role in shaping the concept of ideal beauty, and consequently, such an unachievable ideal of beauty induces significant anxiety about body shape among individuals (The impact of advertisements...). Consequently, individuals are pushed to conform to ever-changing beauty standards, with serious consequences, including physical complications and even death, as exemplified by the death of Jacky Oh, a plastic surgery patient (Staff). This underscores how beauty standards can serve as a means of control imposed by society.

The internalization of unrealistic beauty standards is detrimental because not a single person in the world is perfect. Attempting to meet every criterion of beauty worldwide can lead to unhealthy weight management practices, anxiety, and depression (Bailey et al.). Moreover, such internalization of beauty standards is the core incentive that pushes people to change their original appearance. Such an incentive is then fabricated into the concept of self-improvement. Self-improvement is normally defined as the act or process of improving oneself by one’s own actions (Self-improvement definition & meaning). The direction of the improvement often points towards what is seen as good by society. However, the pursuit of these ideals varies based on race, age, and gender. For instance, according to Kim Elsesser, a gender bias expert and Ph.D., a perfect image of male and female changes considering the distinct roles in society. The single standard of beauty is motivated by sexism and women may spend considerable money, time, and effort on attaining a standard of beauty to navigate a patriarchal society (Elsesser).

It may be argued that self-improvement to align with societal appearance standards can be beneficial, as it can lead to a sense of belonging and garner more respect and positive impressions from others. However, such conformity is unrealistic and promotes anxiety, as appearance standards are constantly evolving. Those who conform to past standards may find themselves ostracized by society.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the concept of self-improvement is socially constructed, with the end goal being alignment with the preferred image of society or authority figures. It is closely tied to body shaming, as it serves as a tool to criticize and discipline individuals whose appearance does not conform to mainstream standards. However, this pursuit of self-improvement is unending, as the notion of beauty is subjective and varies among individuals. This is where self-acceptance becomes crucial. I concur with Robert Holden that a lack of self-acceptance occurs when individuals attempt to conform to societal standards, while self-acceptance arises when one resists the pervasive influence of societal norms. Therefore, self-denial occurs when one tries to conform oneself to society's standards, while self-acceptance can only occur when one carefully navigates through the pervasive influence of society's atmosphere and norms. As what Robert Holden conveys in his book, accepting who we naturally are is the path to true happiness. Our faith and energy originate from within ourselves, not from others.

Reference

“Suicide of Pink-Haired Chinese Woman Sparks Campaign to Combat Cyberbullying.” Yahoo! News, Yahoo!, news.yahoo.com/suicide-pink-haired-chinese-woman-194335539.html.

Bleakley, Laura. “Redheaded Donors Are Being Turned Away at Sperm Bank.” BBC News, BBC, 21 Sept. 2011, www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-15001467.

“Bombshell.” Bombshell Noun - Definition, Pictures, Pronunciation and Usage Notes | Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.Com, www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/bombshell.

Stollznow, Karen. “An Examination of Stereotypes about Hair Color.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/speaking-in-tongues/202104/examination-stereotypes-about-hair-color. Harvey, Jacky Colliss. Red: A History of the Redhead. Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, 2018.

Namaste, Ki. Gender bashing: Sexuality, Gender, and the Regulation of Public Space ..., journals.sagepub.com/Doi/10.1068/d140221. 221-240.

Dettmar, Esther Katherine. “Revising Identification: Fairy Tales That Transform Tradition from Within.” IDEALS, 17 Nov. 2016, www.ideals.illinois.edu/items/98588.

Bailey, K. Alysse, et al. “Self-Objectification and the Use of Body Image Coping Strategies: The Role of Shame in Highly Physically Active Women.” The American Journal of Psychology, vol. 129, no. 1, 2016, pp. 81–90. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.5406/amerjpsyc.129.1.0081. Accessed 1 Oct. 2023.

KANT, IMMANUEL. Critique of Judgment. DIGIREADS COM, 2019.

“Global Survey 2021: Full Report and Press Releases.” ISAPS, www.isaps.org/discover/about-isaps/global-statistics/reports-and-press-releases/global-survey-2021-full-report-and-press-releases/#:~:text=MOUNT%20ROYAL%2C%20N.J.%2C%20Jan.%209%2C%202023%20%2FPRNewswire%2F%20--,surgical%2C%20and%2017.5%20million%20non-surgical%2C%20procedures%20performed%20worldwide.

Published by Statista Research Department, and Sep 26. “Global: Cosmetics Market Revenue 2015-2028.” Statista, 26 Sept. 2023, www.statista.com/forecasts/1272313/worldwide-revenue-cosmetics-market-by-segment.

The Impact of Advertisements on the Conceptualisation of Ideal Female ..., 2017, www.researchgate.net/publication/320550642_The_impact_of_advertisements_on_the_conceptualisation_of_ideal_female_beauty_A_systematic_review.

Staff, newsone. “After Jacky Oh’s Death, Plastic Surgeon Explains Common Mishaps, the Need to Be Fully Informed.” NewsOne, 6 July 2023, newsone.com/4601471/common-plastic-surgery-complications/.

Bailey, K. Alysse, et al. “Self-Objectification and the Use of Body Image Coping Strategies: The Role of Shame in Highly Physically Active Women.” The American Journal of Psychology, vol. 129, no. 1, 2016, pp. 81–90, doi:10.5406/amerjpsyc.129.1.0081.

“Self-Improvement Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-improvement.

Elsesser, Kim. “The Link between Beauty and the Gender Gap.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 28 Oct. 2019, www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2019/10/28/the-link-between-beauty-and-the-gender-gap/?sh=3cfaf9dc5545.

“Self-Acceptance Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-acceptance.